


Il Se Souvient

by NeedsMoreMetal



Category: The Hobbit (2012)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-19
Updated: 2013-02-19
Packaged: 2017-11-29 21:07:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/691450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeedsMoreMetal/pseuds/NeedsMoreMetal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During the battle of the Five Armies Fili goes through the memories of his brother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Il Se Souvient

**Author's Note:**

> "Il se souvient" is french for "He remembers"

Fili remembers the way his baby brother would curl up to him when it was cold. Especially when they shared the same room. Kili would quietly get up from his bed and curl up to Fili’s side. Kili thought that he never knew but in reality, Fili always felt it. Fili felt, from the moment he laid eyes on Kili as a baby wrapped in blankets in his mother’s arms, that he had to protect him. From the cold, from the nightmares, even from pain.

* * *

As Kili aged into the awkward stage in his life where he was beginning to get attracted to dwarf women, Fili would protect him from the ones that would cause him heartache in the end. But once Fili couldn’t stop it as Kili was keen on this one woman no matter what he told him.  
“But Fili! I think she’s the one!” Kili whined while Fili was working.  
“Brother, you’ve said that about the last three. And you would know if she really was. Dwarves only-”  
“Yes brother I know. Dwarves only love once in their lives but I mean come on. That’s pretty old fashioned right?” Kili lent against the door frame. Fili sighed and placed his hammer on the worktable.  
“Kili. You’re going to do what you wish, but please do listen to what I have to say. I know this one and she isn’t going to do anything but hurt you.” Fili took in his brother’s appearance. He never once put a braid in his hair; Kili said they would just be annoying. But he held his lean and slim frame from when he was a child.

Fili knew well of loving only once in one’s life. He came to terms with his love for his brother long ago. Though he doesn’t dare share this with anyone.  
“Fili? You in there?” Kili had stepped forward and was waving hand in front of Fili’s face.  
“Yeah, sorry. I just got lost for a moment.” He turned away from Kili and back to his work. “Kili, just...be careful.” Fili mumbled.  
“Of course Fili. I always am.” Fili could hear the smile in his brother’s voice.

Fili turned out to be right. That night, Kili had found the women lying with another man in her room. Kili was heartbroken and was curled in his own room numb to the pain when dinner came around. Fili came to his brother’s room to tell him that dinner was ready but got no response.  
“Kee?” Fili knocked on the door louder just in case he was asleep. But Fili knew better. He entered the room with the sight of Kili facing away from him.  
“Fili...” His name was just a mere sob that racked his brother’s body.  
“Oh Kili.” He whispered and rushed to his brother’s side. Kili crawled into his lap when he sat next to him. Fili held him close and rubbed soothing circles on his back.  
“Fili, you were right. You’ve always been right. How could I be so naive?” Kili sobbed into Fili’s chest. Fili shushed him and ran his fingers through his hair. He instinctively started rocking from side to side. This is what he did when Kili cried as a baby. Fili was the only one to be able to calm his brother.  
“Everyone makes these mistakes brother. You will learn, I promise.” He whispered.

* * *

The next thing Fili remembers about his brother is the cuddling when cold. With Thorin as their uncle, they learned from a young age to cover each other’s weak point. The back. So they slept back to back when on the road to the Shire. As he fell asleep, he could feel Kili’s back pressing against his own and the warmth that radiated off of it. But he would be woken up with his brother shivering against the cold.  
“Kili.” Fili would whisper and then his baby brother would turn over and bury his head into Fili’s chest and Fili would wrap his arms around him. This was how he’s always been. When Kili was a baby he would fall asleep in Fili’s arms. Usually Fili was already curled up with him in his own bed so he would just watch over him until sleep took him too. Fili would wake up and find his Kili curled up almost like a cat would on his chest with a hand holding his hair tightly. It wasn’t until their mother would come in a take him would he let go.

So when Fili woke on the hard ground with his brother curled against his chest and a hand in his hair he smiled knowing that his baby brother still hadn’t fully grown yet. That he still held some innocence. But soon Fili would have to ruin the peace because he would either have the need to relieve himself or he got hungry.

* * *

After the thunder battle, Kili stuck to Fili like he would disappear unless he held him.  
“Fili, oh you could’ve died. You could’ve...” He would mumble while hugging him still.  
“But I didn’t. I right here. I’m not going anywhere without you.” Fili said comfortingly. He took Kili’s face in his hands and moved hair off his face.  
“I’m here Kili.” Blue eyes met brown ones that looked frantic and worried. Fili pressed his forehead against Kili’s and stroked his thumb over his cheek.

That night they fell asleep in each other’s arms and Bofur didn’t have the heart to wake one of them for the next rounds watch.

* * *

So when the time came that the only thing that Fili could protect Kili from was death. He gladly stepped up.

The battle of the five armies was raging around them. Fili always kept an eye on his brother to make sure nothing went wrong. Kili looked as though this was a walk in the park for him. He felt like nothing could touch him. But death was lining up a shot with an arrow right to the middle of Kili’s back. Fili moved quickly to cover his weak point.  
“Having fun brother?” Kili asked when he felt his brother come up behind him  
“No not really. Kili there’s something I need to tell you.” Fili sliced the head off an orc that came for him.

The arrow was notched on the bowstring.

Fili noticed this and turned to face his brother. Fili wanted it to be the last thing he saw.  
“What is it Fili?” Kili looked at him; there was a moment’s break in the battle.  
“I love you Kili. I always have and I always will.” He blurted out.  
The arrow was released.

“Well, I knew that brother. I love you too. We’re going to win this. I promise.” Kili smiled and placed a hand on Fili’s shoulder. Fili went to smile but the arrow lodged in the middle of Fili’s shoulder blades and the searing pain rushed through him. Kili’s face dropped as he saw the arrow in his brother’s back. Then another. And another.

As Fili fell forward, he remembered all the little things about Kili that made him who he was and why Fili loved him in the first place. Kili caught him as he fell and his head landed in Kili’s lap.  
“No! Fili! No!” Kili yelled. Tears ran down his face as he brushed Fili’s hair from his forehead.  
“It’s okay Kili. You’re going to be okay. I’ve protected you from the pains during my life. And now I’ll protect you after I’ve passed.” Fili spoke and cupped his brother’s cheek with his hand.  
“No, Fili. You’re going to be okay. You have you be. I can’t face this world without you.” Kili was sobbing now and holding Fili tightly. Fili smiled a small smile.  
“I love you Kili. Be strong for me.”  
“I love you too Fili.” Kili smiled through the tears and pressed his forehead to his brothers. He pulled away as Fili’s body became a bit slack in his arms and he started to panic.  
“No! Fili! Don’t go! Not yet! Fili!” Kili began shaking his brother’s body and he felt his hand slip from his cheek and the light fade from his eyes. With a loving smile still gracing his lips. A loud sob racked Kili’s body and he screamed at the top of his lungs. He continued to cry as he placed his head on his brother’s lifeless chest.

Never again would Kili feel his brother’s even breaths or the steady heartbeat that had chased away his nightmares for all his life. Never again would he feel his brother’s warmth during the cold winter nights. Never again would Kili see the light in his brother’s eyes when they locked with his own.  
  
Never again.

**Author's Note:**

> This is not beta'd so if there is any mistakes then they're mine. Let me know where they are and I'll fix them. But thanks for reading! :)


End file.
